June 17, 2008

• After two months of trying - psychotic hormone therapy (for me), difficult breaks from alcohol (for George) and so much sex I don't know what to do with myself, we are officially done trying for another two months.  I find out in 2 weeks the verdict but right now I want it to be negative.

  I found a roach sitting on our dining room table.

  I kicked George's friend out of the house and told George I didn't want to see him until he was sober.  I told him to leave or sleep in the bedroom.  He went to grab his car keys and I twisted his balls until he let go of them, told him he either had to walk, sit on the front porch (like he had for literally the past 6 hours) or go to the bedroom.  He said he would go to the bedroom.

  I don't want to do this over again.  Washington was a great learning experience but doing it again would be insanity.

  "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  -Albert Einstein

  I'm so afraid this won't work out.  I'm so afraid that he's always going to want to do whatever the fuck he wants to do rather what he knows is best for the both of us. 

  I called him this afternoon from work and he said "I'm just drinking beer on the porch, babe... I'm keeping clean, don't worry."

  I don't want him to end up like his father.

  • 10:13 pm
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