I don't think I've ever felt such sheer frustration from inability to do what I'm paid to do.

I need to make calls, but I don't have a phone that can accept phone calls.
People that I call and leave a message with, can't get a hold of me because I don't have a phone that can accept phone calls.
People that I call and leave a message with leave a message for me with Clarissa, the firm noob.
Clarissa, the firm noob, doesn't give me 75% of my messages.
Without 75% of my messages, I call and leave someone a message and say "I haven't heard from you since our last conversation 3 weeks ago" - I now know could not be entirely accurate.

I need a question answered, but Clarissa doesn't know.
I need a question answered, but Mark isn't available.
When Mark is available, we get interrupted 5 times from phone calls and attorneys walking in to talk about some meaningless case they're working on.
When Mark is available, I only get half of my questions answered.
When Mark is available, he says "Barb Corso needs to be contacted, but I'll contact her."
When does Mark call Barb Corso?
I bother Mark every single day, unless he is out of the office (no, I am NOT exaggerating), and ask "have you called Barb Corso?"
Two weeks go by without a phone call to Barb Corso.
Why the hell can't I call Barb Corso?

I've worked here for 5 weeks and have done more than Clarissa has done in her whole employment here.

Is laziness and procrastination expected of me?  Seems it is, because nothing gets done in this business.

My sister called me to invite me to go shopping while she is in town. I couldn't tell if she said dress shopping or just shopping. Either way, coincidence? I think not.

My sisters are coming into town in two weeks.  You know how I found this out?  I spoke to my mother today.  My sisters didn't call me to tell me they're going to be less than 30 minutes away from me, my sisters didn't call me to invite me to go dress shopping for my sister's renewal of vows.  They weren't even going to come and visit me.

I got glasses last week and are finally adjusted to them.  I have ones for driving and ones for work while on the computer.

I applied for seasonal positions at Mervyns and Macys and I had an interview at Macys yesterday.  They said they aren't hiring until the last week of October and will let me know.  Probably a waste of time.

In other news,

comes out in less than a month.  Be excited with me, kthx.

I think I just closed my first case.  I started working on it on September 22nd.