My insecurities are ruining my relationships. I have a tendency to not feel wanted, even when I am. I victimize myself. It's hard to erase the past few years.

I'd like an easy fix. "Do this, and you will achieve that." I don't know how to get over it.

A few days ago I went to a therapist that was recommended to me by a coworker.

First, let me back up. A few weeks ago before George and I filed for divorce, he sent me a text and said "let's go to counselling" - something I begged him for two years to do and he refused every time. He would say that there was nothing that a counselor could do. Naturally, when he texted that to me a few weeks ago I was taken aback. I asked him why he suddenly wanted to go. He said the main reason was because he wanted to be able to tell our story to the therapist and then the therapist would tell me that I needed to have lower expectations and I needed to stop trying to lead a fairy tale life.

So I went to this guy the other day, spent an hour in there telling him about George and his life story and our story. At the end of the session, he said that was very glad that I got out of the relationship, that it was the right thing to do. Not only that, but I told him about my friend Adam that came down to visit me shortly after I moved out, and the therapist said that it was great that I have Adam in my life to give me the attention and love that I missed out on when George abandoned me. "Abandon" was the therapist word.

I left the session feeling a thousand pounds lighter, feeling invigorated and justified. It was even a bit of a shock to hear that I wasn't wrong and that I wasn't a horrible person for wanting attention. It was a great validation to hear it from a neutral, third party professional.

I just hope I'm not naive with the next relationship in thinking that "love conquers all" when there are real, lasting problems. Not problems like putting the toilet paper in upside-down... real problems like drinking six beers every single night as a minimum and rule.

I feel like I can move on effectively now.

You cannot control what others are going to say or do, you can only control how you let it affect you. Don't blame your mother for ruining your life because she moved you and your family to a different city. Don't blame your dad for never being around. Don't blame your ex husband because he's a douchebag.

Also,