I have never felt so stupid on a daily basis as I do here.

I've found some fabulous songs lately listening to an online radio, Pandora (pandora.com).

If you like Tori Amos, then you'll like
Imogen Heap.  If you like her, then you'll like
Jem.  If you like her, then you'll like these:

Butterfly Boucher
Sia
A Fine Frenzy
Plumb
Kate Havnevik

I love finding new music.

ps. I think my coworker is a pathological liar.  I've already heard about her 3 dads and how her step-dad that raised her tried to commit suicide and now can't use his hands - something about cutting his wrists so severely deep - and then booked to Cali this year, and I've heard about her brother that does drugs, and I've heard about her ex-husband that snapped into a crazy mean person the day after they got married, and I've heard how much her and her ex-husband made when they were married and how she went shopping every single day...
I mostly don't like her.  But I can deal with her.  She's easy to be nice to.

I was thinking on my way home from work about high school - about how I had some of the best times in my life in high school (and middle school), but I also had most of my worst times in my life in high school.  Mostly my fun times were just hanging out with friends, but I had a horrible depression that hung over me through the majority of my days.  I was eventually put on Prozac (after a psychotic breakdown) when I was a Sophmore or Junior, but when I was 19 I stopped taking it.  I haven't really had a problem with depression since, and I asked myself why today.  Was it that I suddenly became cured?  Was it the Prozac that cured me?  Was I really not depressed in High School?  None of the above.

When I was 19 I became addicted to a couple drugs and right after (or was is right before?) I admitted I had a problem and decided to change my life around, I stopped taking Prozac. 

My recovery was focused on how I felt at that time and dealing with that emotion, not trying to cover it up or become desensitized.  In that process I began to learn how to deal with my depression as well as my addictions.  I know that being where I am as it is right now is a beautiful thing and I don't have to cry because I'm not where I want to be.  I have the ability to be where I want to be or have what I want to have, but crying isn't going to make things happen.

Dime for dime, experiencing my emotions genuinely is the most beautiful thing I've ever done.

Greetings from my couch on my brand new work laptop!  Technically I shouldn't be blogging on it I think, but I'm on my own time using someone else's internet (wireless from someone in the community, thank you whoever you are). 
So I got my computer today!  It's a laptop from Dell and it's a widescreen, bigger than I thought it was going to be, and I have a separate monitor and keyboard and mouse, and I even have my own printer!  Next week hopefully I'll have a phone that actually hooks up to the Firm's number.  Right now I'm giving everyone the phone number to the office but my phone is just a generic phone that isn't hooked up to the office (hard to explain), so Clarissa or Mark has to take a message for me and I have to call them back on the retarded phone.

hooray me.

So my first week at this new job was actually really bad.  Our corporate office is in Cincinnati and they were hit by a huge wind storm from Hurricane Ike over the weekend, so our shared filed and emails were down.  Also my computer was ordered late and I still don't have one.  I've pretty much sat around, trying to learn what I can without actually doing anything.  It's been pretty lame.  My boss (Mark) got a laptop from his home and brought it in for me to work on today, so I made my first phone call (it went really well!) and drafted a couple intro letters to clients.

It's a good place though.  I expect to be here a long time.

The girl that I work with, Clarissa, is a worthless employee.  She spends the majority of her time on Myspace and Facebook and MSN messenger and personal phone calls and texts and makes a few business calls a day, then claims that she makes tens of business calls a day.  She's just worthless.  I expect that Mark will see the difference between her and me shortly and make some necessary changes.

Today is my last day and Monday I start as a paralegal.

It's a bittersweet day.

I just finished painting the living room.  It looks great!

I was listening to my iPod (that my brother Mark gave me) and a song by Alanis Morissette came up on the shuffle.  I've owned the CD since it came out 6 years ago, but I never actually listened to the lyrics.

Just day one of moving and I'm already so pooped I can hardly move.  We got the bedroom set all ok, we got the items from RC Willey all ok, we got our internet installed all ok (although I'm tying this while sitting on the floor - but hey!  Internet is internet!), and we've started to clean this disaster.  It's seriously the grossest thing I've ever cleaned in my life.  The floor that looks oh so nasty is really just grime from no one mopping or scrubbing the floor.  We've scrubbed half of it and it already looks a ton better.  Not great of course, but a ton better.  The walls are gnarly.  You can wash a square about 2 feet by 2 feet before you have to wash your rag/sponge again.  They didn't clean the bathrooms - so horray I get to clean the piss all over the floor and all over the toilet.  The toilet bowl itself is so stained from not ever being cleaned that I think we might just have to replace all of them. 

The real move starts tomorrow.  Then I have to clean the apartment once everything's moved out.  Definitely not looking forward to that.  Hopefully I've done a good job in the year we've lived there that it won't take as much work as this place is taking.

Someone come rub my feet.

Moving day has come and the house is officially ours!  We got the keys last night  

Coco is learning her schedule fast.  She wakes us up every morning at 7 (even though we've had the last few days off) to go pee and eat breakfast.  Then it's playtime for an hour then nap time until about 10.  At 4:30 it's her dinner time and poop time.  At 6:30 it's her last chance for food before bedtime.  She usually poops out and falls asleep at 9 then wakes us up at about 2 in the morning to pee and poop.  She's really learning that outside is her poop and pee place, I don't think we had an accident yesterday!  Hooray!

George keeps calling her Coco Crispy.  I like that better than Frauline Coco.

Yesterday we were on our way to Home Depot to buy paint and supplies when George stopped at a park.  We took her for the longest walk in the tallest grass (the grass was as tall as her) of her life.. it was hilarious watching her leap at each step.  By the end of the long stretch of grass she was exhausted.  Two little girls (prolly 11 and 8) came up and asked to pet her, then the 8 year old asked to pick her up.  I said ok, I didn't think anything of it.  The girl picked her up, held her like a little baby, Coco squirmed, the girl dropped her, Coco came up not walking on her left leg.  George and I FREAKED out.

We took her to the vet instead of going to Home Depot immediately.  George was infuriated - I don't think I've ever seen him that mad.  He said he wanted to scream at that kid ("You fucking bitch!  What the fuck are you doing?!") that dropped her and ask where her mother was.  I wanted to strangle her.  Instead we said nothing at all to her, just rushed her to the car.  By the time the doc came to see Coco, she made a rapid recovery and started putting pressure on her leg.  She didn't whine or cry or anything the whole time, but we had to make sure our brand new baby was ok.  The doc said she looks fine, no broken bones otherwise she wouldn't put pressure on it at all, she would be crying, she wouldn't have let the doc feel around like she did, etc.  She still has a limp but it doesn't seem to really bother her.

So today I'm meeting my brother Drew at my parents house to pick up my bedroom set (mohagany sleigh bed with matching dresser!) and boxes of stuff I left there from when I moved out.  Then I get my new fridge, stove and table, then I get to test paint, then I get to go buy the actual paint because I only got 1 ounce cans.

What a fun, fun day.

I got a new job, so I put in my 2 weeks.

 I'll be a paralegal at a law firm.